Monday, October 8, 2012
He is...
There's nothing quite like a person's smile. Each one is different, unique to that individual. It's an honor and privilege to behold every one that has been bestowed upon me. The joy they bring reminds me of Him and the way He brings such rich joy in the simplest of things. There is a magnitude of beauty in the minute. I think this is most likely the reason He cares about the details of our lives. From learning to praise Him amidst the sorrow for the struggles, to learning the art of receiving His unfathomable blessings. I appreciate His attention to the intricacies of not only the universe, but of our everyday lives. He is SO good<3
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
be Thou exalted
Abba, may my prayer and promise be acceptable..
"O God, be thou exalted over my possessions. Nothing of earth's treasures shall seem dear unto me if only Thou art glorified in my life. Be Thou exalted over my friendships. I am determined that Thou shalt be above all, though I must stand deserted and alone in the midst of the earth. Be Thou exalted above my comforts. Though it mean the loss of bodily comforts and the carrying of heavy crosses I shall keep my vow made this day before Thee. Be Thou exalted over my reputation. Make me ambitious to please Thee even if as a result I must sink into obscurity and my name be forgotten as a dream. Rise, O Lord, into Thy proper place of honor, above my ambitions, above my likes and dislikes, above my family, my health and even my life itself. Let me decrease that Thou mayest increase, let me sink that Thou mayest rise above. Ride forth upon me as Thou didst ride into Jerusalem mounted upon the humble little beast, a colt, the foal of an ass, and let me hear the children cry to Thee, `Hosanna in the highest."
A.W.Tozer, "The Pursuit of God"
Ch.8 'Restoring the Creator-Creature Relation'
"O God, be thou exalted over my possessions. Nothing of earth's treasures shall seem dear unto me if only Thou art glorified in my life. Be Thou exalted over my friendships. I am determined that Thou shalt be above all, though I must stand deserted and alone in the midst of the earth. Be Thou exalted above my comforts. Though it mean the loss of bodily comforts and the carrying of heavy crosses I shall keep my vow made this day before Thee. Be Thou exalted over my reputation. Make me ambitious to please Thee even if as a result I must sink into obscurity and my name be forgotten as a dream. Rise, O Lord, into Thy proper place of honor, above my ambitions, above my likes and dislikes, above my family, my health and even my life itself. Let me decrease that Thou mayest increase, let me sink that Thou mayest rise above. Ride forth upon me as Thou didst ride into Jerusalem mounted upon the humble little beast, a colt, the foal of an ass, and let me hear the children cry to Thee, `Hosanna in the highest."
A.W.Tozer, "The Pursuit of God"
Ch.8 'Restoring the Creator-Creature Relation'
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Sweet Sound
Tonight the Lord spoke, through my new brothers and sisters, to my heart. Circled by the communing group, each prayed over me and then over everyone also. A brother in praying over me spoke of Song of Solomon 6:3a, my heart melted.This is the very verse the Lord has always brought to light after brokenness, struggle, trial, failure and because of this I am reminded that I am seen, and known. Now I am not only recognized by God, but little by little, by my brethren. I am no longer lacking in fellowship, for the Lord has provided. I look forward to all the Lord has to teach, share, and bless me with.
This night, of five hours of prayer, singing, praise, and worship, was so Spiritually enriching. The music was just beautiful, so many hymns of old. Our hearts and minds were open and I learned that there are many with deep wells of understanding. Each person was in tune with the Spirit, and filled with the light of Christ Jesus. It was such a blessing!It was so special because by placing Christ as the center, our center as a body and as individuals, we were able to come together as if we'd known each other for years. We've only known each other for two weeks.
Thank You Lord for this experience. May all glory and honor be unto Your name Father, for You see and know all. You knew this special time together would take place before You created the foundation of the earth. I love You Lord, oh my soul rejoice, take joy my King in what you hear, may it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear<3
This night, of five hours of prayer, singing, praise, and worship, was so Spiritually enriching. The music was just beautiful, so many hymns of old. Our hearts and minds were open and I learned that there are many with deep wells of understanding. Each person was in tune with the Spirit, and filled with the light of Christ Jesus. It was such a blessing!It was so special because by placing Christ as the center, our center as a body and as individuals, we were able to come together as if we'd known each other for years. We've only known each other for two weeks.
Thank You Lord for this experience. May all glory and honor be unto Your name Father, for You see and know all. You knew this special time together would take place before You created the foundation of the earth. I love You Lord, oh my soul rejoice, take joy my King in what you hear, may it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear<3
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
my Father
Breathing against the carpeted floor, arms stretched out, eyes shut tightly, palms facing heavenward, my heart weighted as if made of iron...Whom have I in heaven but You? Whom have I in all the earth, but You?
"My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore."
Psalm 131
thank You Abba for hearing, seeing, and knowing me<3
"My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore."
Psalm 131
thank You Abba for hearing, seeing, and knowing me<3
Friday, August 3, 2012
Sand Dollars
The homework for my summer Biblestudy called for us to look at Haystack Rock and to think about "How is God your Rock?"...I took a walk in the opposite direction of Haystack. Somewaht feeling like Jonah, I asked the Lord to join me and share with me that which He wanted me to meditate on...The tide was extremely low and I walked seemingly straight into the ocean (love low tide!). As I stepped further and further out, I found myself peeking back over my shoulder catching glimpses of the distinct rock. Hmm, how is God my rock? or shall I say Rock? This would be a piece of cake, I thought to myself, Christ is my cornerstone. "Well duh! Dig deeper", the Spirit whispered. well He's my Father,Savior, and stronghold as well, and He's my closest friend...hmm, He made me in His image and the Spirit dwells within so I find my identity in Him...I'm a piece of Him. At that point I came upon a sand dollar, its middle was a tad broken but what was left over was just gorgeous, it looked like a little fossil/seashell. I stared at it for a bit, and as I studied the intricacies of the semi barren sand dollars' inside, it hit me...Christ is my Rock because He is my center. He is the One who dwells in the depths, genetics and make-up of my very soul. When He formed me in thought and knit me in my mother's womb He knew I would belong to Him forever. Overwhelmed with the beauty that He would make me for Himself, I picked it up and moved along. How I love the ocean breeze!..soon I fell across a smaller sand dollar, it was not broken, and the Spirit reminded me that in Christ we are made whole. He completes me, because I am a part of Him and if anything is missing/seems to be missing, I should seek Him, because He'll have it...what a lovely reminder that THE LORD IS MY ALL! There's no describing how the Lord poured His peace over my heart and countenance like the waves coating the sandy beach. At the end of my "little" walk (3hours) I found an itsy-bitsy sand dollar...the Lord always puts me in my place, praise Him for being faithful in keeping me accountable!
Such a lovely evening, full of blessings, I love doing special things with my Beloved<3
Spending time, in every moment, with my MOST precious Friend is such a treat!
^_^ PRAISE JESUS (as a good friend often says! :)
Such a lovely evening, full of blessings, I love doing special things with my Beloved<3
Spending time, in every moment, with my MOST precious Friend is such a treat!
^_^ PRAISE JESUS (as a good friend often says! :)
Monday, July 2, 2012
My Portion
"Whom have I in Heaven but You?
and besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psalms 73:25-26
NASB
The Lord has placed me upon the path He has for my life. So I follow His direction, though I know not where it passes through, He promises that He will get me through. This journey has felt long, though in reality has only been a short while. I have carried along with me the scars, and their painful, daunting memories. Their weight has held me down, but last night the Lord asked me to see these burdens in a different light. He asked me to see the scars as a reminder of His faithfulness, to let go of pain I associate them with. For every bit of sorrow I've carried, He carried long before I was formed.
The Lord spoke to my heart, about dreams I felt were dead, about not doubting that He knew what He was getting when He chose me as His own. He even spoke of the my broken path leading right to my dearest Beloved, straight into His arms...Never has He been clearer, never has He used someone to speak directly to me in this way. My Beloved met with me, and held my heart. I felt waves of peace flowing through the course of my spirit, through the viens of my soul as He lifted the heaviness. I am in awe, at the grace, and lovingkindness of my Savior.
Yes, my Beloved, truly You are my portion forever<3
and besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psalms 73:25-26
NASB
The Lord has placed me upon the path He has for my life. So I follow His direction, though I know not where it passes through, He promises that He will get me through. This journey has felt long, though in reality has only been a short while. I have carried along with me the scars, and their painful, daunting memories. Their weight has held me down, but last night the Lord asked me to see these burdens in a different light. He asked me to see the scars as a reminder of His faithfulness, to let go of pain I associate them with. For every bit of sorrow I've carried, He carried long before I was formed.
The Lord spoke to my heart, about dreams I felt were dead, about not doubting that He knew what He was getting when He chose me as His own. He even spoke of the my broken path leading right to my dearest Beloved, straight into His arms...Never has He been clearer, never has He used someone to speak directly to me in this way. My Beloved met with me, and held my heart. I felt waves of peace flowing through the course of my spirit, through the viens of my soul as He lifted the heaviness. I am in awe, at the grace, and lovingkindness of my Savior.
Yes, my Beloved, truly You are my portion forever<3
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Verse of the Day
"How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand; when I wake, I am stil with Thee." Psalms 139:17-18 NKJ
The Lord has stilled my spirit and quieted my soul. He is teaching me to wait on Him. I am slowly learning how to pursue His heart. I lay my burdens, joys, sorrows before His feet and I ask Him to keep His promises; to care, comfort, soothe, renew...He is so good<3
The Lord has stilled my spirit and quieted my soul. He is teaching me to wait on Him. I am slowly learning how to pursue His heart. I lay my burdens, joys, sorrows before His feet and I ask Him to keep His promises; to care, comfort, soothe, renew...He is so good<3
Monday, May 14, 2012
my someOne
When I first moved to Oregon two years ago, I feared leaving everyone and everything behind. To be removed from the only life one's ever had is like being stripped naked in front of hundreds of strangers. It's the worst feeling in the world, and yet at the same time it feels good to be raw. To be me, flaws, strengths, talent, inabilities and all. I was wrong when I said I feared leaving everyone. The truth is I feared not having anyone there for me anymore. Yes, sadly the more self centered human wants become more evident to oneself when alone. It's strange, I left and felt as though I was the one abandoned. Oh that feeling is the one of the most feared and detrimental things in all the world. For me it's just the thought of being alone.
There was a little gray/white bird I saw when I first got to OR. One day I heard one of the older ladies talking with a family member about how this little dove once had a mate but it had recently died. I saw it all the time, sitting out on the TV lines and wires. Then I saw it less, and it became very special to see. Half a year later I didn't see it as much, but started hearing it. It's true dove do coo. The doves cooing was the saddest I'd ever heard. But when I'd hear it, I'd hold my breath and listen really closely, because I was feeling what it was feeling, lonely and missing my loved ones.
That's the thing about being alone, it reaches deep down into the pits of you insides, scrambles you all up, and rips your heart out of your chest. Then you don't feel anymore, your body and empty heart chamber is so in shock you mentally can't handle it, so you block it out. It's nice because it feels like it doesn't exist anymore. Then one day you wake up from the cold numbness and the heat settles in, and you're screaming bloody murder, literally. The nice thing was that I wasn't alone when I wandered and stumbled out of my darkness. The Lord was there waiting.
He's always been waiting on me, to finally wake up to the next chapter, the next big life change. But now when I hear the single cooing dove, I stop and think about how grateful I am for the Lord. It also makes me think of how I ought to be waiting on Him. I am content in His presence, His path, His joy and love. I just have to keep waking up and seeking Him and working on trusting Him for the fulfillment I could never find in others. He's always been my special someone.
In the special moments it's been He and I. Waking to the clouds was once dreary and burdensome, now it's He who I wake to greet, it's He who I wish sweet dreams too, the one I chuckle with about something humorous, the one I yell at when I'm frustrated, the one I tell my secrets too, whom I pour my heart out to on the piano He knows I hate but am grateful for...the whom I'm reminded of when the leaves of the trees quietly rustle, the one who silently sits by my side when I weep, the one who holds me when everything hurts and I've forgotten how to feel.
When the dove softly coos I know its not lamenting, but singing praises. Little love songs to its Creator. I too shall sing to my Creator. Because no matter how messed up of a human I am, how put together I seem etc. He's always there, loving me, waiting. It's my turn to wait, trust Him for all. He is sufficient and so much more. He's my someone<3
There was a little gray/white bird I saw when I first got to OR. One day I heard one of the older ladies talking with a family member about how this little dove once had a mate but it had recently died. I saw it all the time, sitting out on the TV lines and wires. Then I saw it less, and it became very special to see. Half a year later I didn't see it as much, but started hearing it. It's true dove do coo. The doves cooing was the saddest I'd ever heard. But when I'd hear it, I'd hold my breath and listen really closely, because I was feeling what it was feeling, lonely and missing my loved ones.
That's the thing about being alone, it reaches deep down into the pits of you insides, scrambles you all up, and rips your heart out of your chest. Then you don't feel anymore, your body and empty heart chamber is so in shock you mentally can't handle it, so you block it out. It's nice because it feels like it doesn't exist anymore. Then one day you wake up from the cold numbness and the heat settles in, and you're screaming bloody murder, literally. The nice thing was that I wasn't alone when I wandered and stumbled out of my darkness. The Lord was there waiting.
He's always been waiting on me, to finally wake up to the next chapter, the next big life change. But now when I hear the single cooing dove, I stop and think about how grateful I am for the Lord. It also makes me think of how I ought to be waiting on Him. I am content in His presence, His path, His joy and love. I just have to keep waking up and seeking Him and working on trusting Him for the fulfillment I could never find in others. He's always been my special someone.
In the special moments it's been He and I. Waking to the clouds was once dreary and burdensome, now it's He who I wake to greet, it's He who I wish sweet dreams too, the one I chuckle with about something humorous, the one I yell at when I'm frustrated, the one I tell my secrets too, whom I pour my heart out to on the piano He knows I hate but am grateful for...the whom I'm reminded of when the leaves of the trees quietly rustle, the one who silently sits by my side when I weep, the one who holds me when everything hurts and I've forgotten how to feel.
When the dove softly coos I know its not lamenting, but singing praises. Little love songs to its Creator. I too shall sing to my Creator. Because no matter how messed up of a human I am, how put together I seem etc. He's always there, loving me, waiting. It's my turn to wait, trust Him for all. He is sufficient and so much more. He's my someone<3
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
He Won't Let Go
There are times I shut myself in, and purposely create distance. The hurt deep down is worse when you're on your own, but sometimes feeling the agony is like a reality shock. It wakes one up to the dire situation of the soul, and it helps keep me sane. I grieve Him, because though I trust Him, I don't know how long it'll be till I feel life flowing in my veins again. I am of little faith it seems sometimes. Forgive me Lord for pushing You away these past few days. These are carnal feelings that I cannot escape, but I will stay beneath You wings and find my shelter, comfort, and healing from You. So I will not dwell upon my temporary misery, rather I shall refocus my eyes upon my eternal Savior.
This song is one I've always wished someone would sing to me, that they would promise me forever. The truth is the only one who could ever eternally mean this is my King, and there's none other I desire more..because He won't let go<3
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Daily Bread
"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and my burden light."
-Matthew 11:28-30
"...You are..chosen..so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness and into His marvelous light."
-1 Peter 2:9
-Matthew 11:28-30
"...You are..chosen..so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness and into His marvelous light."
-1 Peter 2:9
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Glory Hallelujah!
On this day hundreds and hundreds of years ago, He rose.
Reigning as victor' or' the grave,
He defeated the evil foe.
On this day when many celebrate with song, food, and cheer,
I make sure to remember His sacrifice so dear.
For me this day marks not just a holiday,
But rather an intimate anniversary.
It is the day Jesus won, and rose to claim me,
In all His humble splendor and glory<3
Reigning as victor' or' the grave,
He defeated the evil foe.
On this day when many celebrate with song, food, and cheer,
I make sure to remember His sacrifice so dear.
For me this day marks not just a holiday,
But rather an intimate anniversary.
It is the day Jesus won, and rose to claim me,
In all His humble splendor and glory<3
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Sun & Rain
Gaze absorbed, consumed,
admiration.
Sun glows within hazy fog, onto slick black streets.
Road covered in rain water reflecting,
is as bronze.
I see a path of gold before my feet,
in wonder I dare chuckle.
Such glory,
magnificent.
Praise the Almighty,
Creator.
Friday, March 23, 2012
I am His letter...
"You are our letter, written in our hearts, known and read by all men; being manifested that you are a letter of Christ, cared for by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts."
~ 2 Corinthians 3:2-3
My life; His novel, His sculpture, His precious gem. God knows what He's making me into, and where He's taking me. Instead of worrying over the details I will rest in Him, but I am going to take this opportunity to re-learn, and reapply the basics of living as a Christ follower. I am facing life long lessons, but I know that it's all preparation for what the Lord has in store. It's an honor, privilege, blessing, and precious gift to have my life and soul chosen, by God, to be a letter of Christ written with the Spirit of the living God, a sculpture made by the hands of the Creator, a jewel chiseled and polished to shine so brightly that His reflection is made visible<3
~ 2 Corinthians 3:2-3
My life; His novel, His sculpture, His precious gem. God knows what He's making me into, and where He's taking me. Instead of worrying over the details I will rest in Him, but I am going to take this opportunity to re-learn, and reapply the basics of living as a Christ follower. I am facing life long lessons, but I know that it's all preparation for what the Lord has in store. It's an honor, privilege, blessing, and precious gift to have my life and soul chosen, by God, to be a letter of Christ written with the Spirit of the living God, a sculpture made by the hands of the Creator, a jewel chiseled and polished to shine so brightly that His reflection is made visible<3
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Persevere
Deep, long breaths she reminds everyone, including herself. For though one faces everydays' multitude of battles, one must only face a single day at a time. She gives praise to the Almighty, for He never gives more than she can handle, more than she is equipped to carry. But in times where the load is so overwhelmingly great, there is much comfort. God carries her in her present state, and reassures by having already taken her sins to the cross and freely giving her salvation. She must trust Him and obey. She breaths, so that she may think on what her Master is asking of her...
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, for once he has passed the test, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12.
The goal is not to receive the crown. Rather it is about God keeping His promise of giving eternal life. She know this, sees and has experienced His total unrelenting devotion. None can surpass the wonder that is His faithfulness. She can never be perfect, but seeking to walks as Christ walked and to speak as He spoke, she continues following Him. She pursues learning His ways, and being refined by His, oh so painful yet eternally beneficial, holy fire. She seeks Him, not as fervently as He did her, but enough so that she is touched by His merciful grace and passion to act according to His commands.
Why does He continue to pursue her? to go after the hearts of millions and millions of blind wanderers? to call you unto Himself?...Love for us moved His heart. It would take His love, for us to surrender, to be so deeply moved that we would love Him in return. With His love in our hearts we are enabled to move forward to act in right relationship with Him, despite what we face every moment of everyday, from the seen to the unseen surrounding us. So this is what the Lord demands of her and yourself, to have perseverance (patiently endure), endurance (patient waiting), and to..
"Live your life in a manner worthy of Christ's death." S.J.B.
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, for once he has passed the test, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12.
The goal is not to receive the crown. Rather it is about God keeping His promise of giving eternal life. She know this, sees and has experienced His total unrelenting devotion. None can surpass the wonder that is His faithfulness. She can never be perfect, but seeking to walks as Christ walked and to speak as He spoke, she continues following Him. She pursues learning His ways, and being refined by His, oh so painful yet eternally beneficial, holy fire. She seeks Him, not as fervently as He did her, but enough so that she is touched by His merciful grace and passion to act according to His commands.
Why does He continue to pursue her? to go after the hearts of millions and millions of blind wanderers? to call you unto Himself?...Love for us moved His heart. It would take His love, for us to surrender, to be so deeply moved that we would love Him in return. With His love in our hearts we are enabled to move forward to act in right relationship with Him, despite what we face every moment of everyday, from the seen to the unseen surrounding us. So this is what the Lord demands of her and yourself, to have perseverance (patiently endure), endurance (patient waiting), and to..
"Live your life in a manner worthy of Christ's death." S.J.B.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
It is Well
No matter the circumstance, I turn to Him for rest. He is my comfort in affliction, and peace when all is astir. No matter the worry, the Lord "has regarded my helpless estate and hath shed His own blood for" me. Amidst bountiful blessings and joy I find my heart praising Him, amidst the quiet trembling sorrow, I praise Him all the more. But no matter "my lot Thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well, with my soul."
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