The homework for my summer Biblestudy called for us to look at Haystack Rock and to think about "How is God your Rock?"...I took a walk in the opposite direction of Haystack. Somewaht feeling like Jonah, I asked the Lord to join me and share with me that which He wanted me to meditate on...The tide was extremely low and I walked seemingly straight into the ocean (love low tide!). As I stepped further and further out, I found myself peeking back over my shoulder catching glimpses of the distinct rock. Hmm, how is God my rock? or shall I say Rock? This would be a piece of cake, I thought to myself, Christ is my cornerstone. "Well duh! Dig deeper", the Spirit whispered. well He's my Father,Savior, and stronghold as well, and He's my closest friend...hmm, He made me in His image and the Spirit dwells within so I find my identity in Him...I'm a piece of Him. At that point I came upon a sand dollar, its middle was a tad broken but what was left over was just gorgeous, it looked like a little fossil/seashell. I stared at it for a bit, and as I studied the intricacies of the semi barren sand dollars' inside, it hit me...Christ is my Rock because He is my center. He is the One who dwells in the depths, genetics and make-up of my very soul. When He formed me in thought and knit me in my mother's womb He knew I would belong to Him forever. Overwhelmed with the beauty that He would make me for Himself, I picked it up and moved along. How I love the ocean breeze!..soon I fell across a smaller sand dollar, it was not broken, and the Spirit reminded me that in Christ we are made whole. He completes me, because I am a part of Him and if anything is missing/seems to be missing, I should seek Him, because He'll have it...what a lovely reminder that THE LORD IS MY ALL! There's no describing how the Lord poured His peace over my heart and countenance like the waves coating the sandy beach. At the end of my "little" walk (3hours) I found an itsy-bitsy sand dollar...the Lord always puts me in my place, praise Him for being faithful in keeping me accountable!
Such a lovely evening, full of blessings, I love doing special things with my Beloved<3
Spending time, in every moment, with my MOST precious Friend is such a treat!
^_^ PRAISE JESUS (as a good friend often says! :)
Friday, August 3, 2012
Monday, July 2, 2012
My Portion
"Whom have I in Heaven but You?
and besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psalms 73:25-26
NASB
The Lord has placed me upon the path He has for my life. So I follow His direction, though I know not where it passes through, He promises that He will get me through. This journey has felt long, though in reality has only been a short while. I have carried along with me the scars, and their painful, daunting memories. Their weight has held me down, but last night the Lord asked me to see these burdens in a different light. He asked me to see the scars as a reminder of His faithfulness, to let go of pain I associate them with. For every bit of sorrow I've carried, He carried long before I was formed.
The Lord spoke to my heart, about dreams I felt were dead, about not doubting that He knew what He was getting when He chose me as His own. He even spoke of the my broken path leading right to my dearest Beloved, straight into His arms...Never has He been clearer, never has He used someone to speak directly to me in this way. My Beloved met with me, and held my heart. I felt waves of peace flowing through the course of my spirit, through the viens of my soul as He lifted the heaviness. I am in awe, at the grace, and lovingkindness of my Savior.
Yes, my Beloved, truly You are my portion forever<3
and besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psalms 73:25-26
NASB
The Lord has placed me upon the path He has for my life. So I follow His direction, though I know not where it passes through, He promises that He will get me through. This journey has felt long, though in reality has only been a short while. I have carried along with me the scars, and their painful, daunting memories. Their weight has held me down, but last night the Lord asked me to see these burdens in a different light. He asked me to see the scars as a reminder of His faithfulness, to let go of pain I associate them with. For every bit of sorrow I've carried, He carried long before I was formed.
The Lord spoke to my heart, about dreams I felt were dead, about not doubting that He knew what He was getting when He chose me as His own. He even spoke of the my broken path leading right to my dearest Beloved, straight into His arms...Never has He been clearer, never has He used someone to speak directly to me in this way. My Beloved met with me, and held my heart. I felt waves of peace flowing through the course of my spirit, through the viens of my soul as He lifted the heaviness. I am in awe, at the grace, and lovingkindness of my Savior.
Yes, my Beloved, truly You are my portion forever<3
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Verse of the Day
"How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand; when I wake, I am stil with Thee." Psalms 139:17-18 NKJ
The Lord has stilled my spirit and quieted my soul. He is teaching me to wait on Him. I am slowly learning how to pursue His heart. I lay my burdens, joys, sorrows before His feet and I ask Him to keep His promises; to care, comfort, soothe, renew...He is so good<3
The Lord has stilled my spirit and quieted my soul. He is teaching me to wait on Him. I am slowly learning how to pursue His heart. I lay my burdens, joys, sorrows before His feet and I ask Him to keep His promises; to care, comfort, soothe, renew...He is so good<3
Monday, May 14, 2012
my someOne
When I first moved to Oregon two years ago, I feared leaving everyone and everything behind. To be removed from the only life one's ever had is like being stripped naked in front of hundreds of strangers. It's the worst feeling in the world, and yet at the same time it feels good to be raw. To be me, flaws, strengths, talent, inabilities and all. I was wrong when I said I feared leaving everyone. The truth is I feared not having anyone there for me anymore. Yes, sadly the more self centered human wants become more evident to oneself when alone. It's strange, I left and felt as though I was the one abandoned. Oh that feeling is the one of the most feared and detrimental things in all the world. For me it's just the thought of being alone.
There was a little gray/white bird I saw when I first got to OR. One day I heard one of the older ladies talking with a family member about how this little dove once had a mate but it had recently died. I saw it all the time, sitting out on the TV lines and wires. Then I saw it less, and it became very special to see. Half a year later I didn't see it as much, but started hearing it. It's true dove do coo. The doves cooing was the saddest I'd ever heard. But when I'd hear it, I'd hold my breath and listen really closely, because I was feeling what it was feeling, lonely and missing my loved ones.
That's the thing about being alone, it reaches deep down into the pits of you insides, scrambles you all up, and rips your heart out of your chest. Then you don't feel anymore, your body and empty heart chamber is so in shock you mentally can't handle it, so you block it out. It's nice because it feels like it doesn't exist anymore. Then one day you wake up from the cold numbness and the heat settles in, and you're screaming bloody murder, literally. The nice thing was that I wasn't alone when I wandered and stumbled out of my darkness. The Lord was there waiting.
He's always been waiting on me, to finally wake up to the next chapter, the next big life change. But now when I hear the single cooing dove, I stop and think about how grateful I am for the Lord. It also makes me think of how I ought to be waiting on Him. I am content in His presence, His path, His joy and love. I just have to keep waking up and seeking Him and working on trusting Him for the fulfillment I could never find in others. He's always been my special someone.
In the special moments it's been He and I. Waking to the clouds was once dreary and burdensome, now it's He who I wake to greet, it's He who I wish sweet dreams too, the one I chuckle with about something humorous, the one I yell at when I'm frustrated, the one I tell my secrets too, whom I pour my heart out to on the piano He knows I hate but am grateful for...the whom I'm reminded of when the leaves of the trees quietly rustle, the one who silently sits by my side when I weep, the one who holds me when everything hurts and I've forgotten how to feel.
When the dove softly coos I know its not lamenting, but singing praises. Little love songs to its Creator. I too shall sing to my Creator. Because no matter how messed up of a human I am, how put together I seem etc. He's always there, loving me, waiting. It's my turn to wait, trust Him for all. He is sufficient and so much more. He's my someone<3
There was a little gray/white bird I saw when I first got to OR. One day I heard one of the older ladies talking with a family member about how this little dove once had a mate but it had recently died. I saw it all the time, sitting out on the TV lines and wires. Then I saw it less, and it became very special to see. Half a year later I didn't see it as much, but started hearing it. It's true dove do coo. The doves cooing was the saddest I'd ever heard. But when I'd hear it, I'd hold my breath and listen really closely, because I was feeling what it was feeling, lonely and missing my loved ones.
That's the thing about being alone, it reaches deep down into the pits of you insides, scrambles you all up, and rips your heart out of your chest. Then you don't feel anymore, your body and empty heart chamber is so in shock you mentally can't handle it, so you block it out. It's nice because it feels like it doesn't exist anymore. Then one day you wake up from the cold numbness and the heat settles in, and you're screaming bloody murder, literally. The nice thing was that I wasn't alone when I wandered and stumbled out of my darkness. The Lord was there waiting.
He's always been waiting on me, to finally wake up to the next chapter, the next big life change. But now when I hear the single cooing dove, I stop and think about how grateful I am for the Lord. It also makes me think of how I ought to be waiting on Him. I am content in His presence, His path, His joy and love. I just have to keep waking up and seeking Him and working on trusting Him for the fulfillment I could never find in others. He's always been my special someone.
In the special moments it's been He and I. Waking to the clouds was once dreary and burdensome, now it's He who I wake to greet, it's He who I wish sweet dreams too, the one I chuckle with about something humorous, the one I yell at when I'm frustrated, the one I tell my secrets too, whom I pour my heart out to on the piano He knows I hate but am grateful for...the whom I'm reminded of when the leaves of the trees quietly rustle, the one who silently sits by my side when I weep, the one who holds me when everything hurts and I've forgotten how to feel.
When the dove softly coos I know its not lamenting, but singing praises. Little love songs to its Creator. I too shall sing to my Creator. Because no matter how messed up of a human I am, how put together I seem etc. He's always there, loving me, waiting. It's my turn to wait, trust Him for all. He is sufficient and so much more. He's my someone<3
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
He Won't Let Go
There are times I shut myself in, and purposely create distance. The hurt deep down is worse when you're on your own, but sometimes feeling the agony is like a reality shock. It wakes one up to the dire situation of the soul, and it helps keep me sane. I grieve Him, because though I trust Him, I don't know how long it'll be till I feel life flowing in my veins again. I am of little faith it seems sometimes. Forgive me Lord for pushing You away these past few days. These are carnal feelings that I cannot escape, but I will stay beneath You wings and find my shelter, comfort, and healing from You. So I will not dwell upon my temporary misery, rather I shall refocus my eyes upon my eternal Savior.
This song is one I've always wished someone would sing to me, that they would promise me forever. The truth is the only one who could ever eternally mean this is my King, and there's none other I desire more..because He won't let go<3
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Daily Bread
"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and my burden light."
-Matthew 11:28-30
"...You are..chosen..so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness and into His marvelous light."
-1 Peter 2:9
-Matthew 11:28-30
"...You are..chosen..so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness and into His marvelous light."
-1 Peter 2:9
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Glory Hallelujah!
On this day hundreds and hundreds of years ago, He rose.
Reigning as victor' or' the grave,
He defeated the evil foe.
On this day when many celebrate with song, food, and cheer,
I make sure to remember His sacrifice so dear.
For me this day marks not just a holiday,
But rather an intimate anniversary.
It is the day Jesus won, and rose to claim me,
In all His humble splendor and glory<3
Reigning as victor' or' the grave,
He defeated the evil foe.
On this day when many celebrate with song, food, and cheer,
I make sure to remember His sacrifice so dear.
For me this day marks not just a holiday,
But rather an intimate anniversary.
It is the day Jesus won, and rose to claim me,
In all His humble splendor and glory<3
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Sun & Rain
Gaze absorbed, consumed,
admiration.
Sun glows within hazy fog, onto slick black streets.
Road covered in rain water reflecting,
is as bronze.
I see a path of gold before my feet,
in wonder I dare chuckle.
Such glory,
magnificent.
Praise the Almighty,
Creator.
Friday, March 23, 2012
I am His letter...
"You are our letter, written in our hearts, known and read by all men; being manifested that you are a letter of Christ, cared for by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts."
~ 2 Corinthians 3:2-3
My life; His novel, His sculpture, His precious gem. God knows what He's making me into, and where He's taking me. Instead of worrying over the details I will rest in Him, but I am going to take this opportunity to re-learn, and reapply the basics of living as a Christ follower. I am facing life long lessons, but I know that it's all preparation for what the Lord has in store. It's an honor, privilege, blessing, and precious gift to have my life and soul chosen, by God, to be a letter of Christ written with the Spirit of the living God, a sculpture made by the hands of the Creator, a jewel chiseled and polished to shine so brightly that His reflection is made visible<3
~ 2 Corinthians 3:2-3
My life; His novel, His sculpture, His precious gem. God knows what He's making me into, and where He's taking me. Instead of worrying over the details I will rest in Him, but I am going to take this opportunity to re-learn, and reapply the basics of living as a Christ follower. I am facing life long lessons, but I know that it's all preparation for what the Lord has in store. It's an honor, privilege, blessing, and precious gift to have my life and soul chosen, by God, to be a letter of Christ written with the Spirit of the living God, a sculpture made by the hands of the Creator, a jewel chiseled and polished to shine so brightly that His reflection is made visible<3
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Persevere
Deep, long breaths she reminds everyone, including herself. For though one faces everydays' multitude of battles, one must only face a single day at a time. She gives praise to the Almighty, for He never gives more than she can handle, more than she is equipped to carry. But in times where the load is so overwhelmingly great, there is much comfort. God carries her in her present state, and reassures by having already taken her sins to the cross and freely giving her salvation. She must trust Him and obey. She breaths, so that she may think on what her Master is asking of her...
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, for once he has passed the test, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12.
The goal is not to receive the crown. Rather it is about God keeping His promise of giving eternal life. She know this, sees and has experienced His total unrelenting devotion. None can surpass the wonder that is His faithfulness. She can never be perfect, but seeking to walks as Christ walked and to speak as He spoke, she continues following Him. She pursues learning His ways, and being refined by His, oh so painful yet eternally beneficial, holy fire. She seeks Him, not as fervently as He did her, but enough so that she is touched by His merciful grace and passion to act according to His commands.
Why does He continue to pursue her? to go after the hearts of millions and millions of blind wanderers? to call you unto Himself?...Love for us moved His heart. It would take His love, for us to surrender, to be so deeply moved that we would love Him in return. With His love in our hearts we are enabled to move forward to act in right relationship with Him, despite what we face every moment of everyday, from the seen to the unseen surrounding us. So this is what the Lord demands of her and yourself, to have perseverance (patiently endure), endurance (patient waiting), and to..
"Live your life in a manner worthy of Christ's death." S.J.B.
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, for once he has passed the test, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12.
The goal is not to receive the crown. Rather it is about God keeping His promise of giving eternal life. She know this, sees and has experienced His total unrelenting devotion. None can surpass the wonder that is His faithfulness. She can never be perfect, but seeking to walks as Christ walked and to speak as He spoke, she continues following Him. She pursues learning His ways, and being refined by His, oh so painful yet eternally beneficial, holy fire. She seeks Him, not as fervently as He did her, but enough so that she is touched by His merciful grace and passion to act according to His commands.
Why does He continue to pursue her? to go after the hearts of millions and millions of blind wanderers? to call you unto Himself?...Love for us moved His heart. It would take His love, for us to surrender, to be so deeply moved that we would love Him in return. With His love in our hearts we are enabled to move forward to act in right relationship with Him, despite what we face every moment of everyday, from the seen to the unseen surrounding us. So this is what the Lord demands of her and yourself, to have perseverance (patiently endure), endurance (patient waiting), and to..
"Live your life in a manner worthy of Christ's death." S.J.B.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
It is Well
No matter the circumstance, I turn to Him for rest. He is my comfort in affliction, and peace when all is astir. No matter the worry, the Lord "has regarded my helpless estate and hath shed His own blood for" me. Amidst bountiful blessings and joy I find my heart praising Him, amidst the quiet trembling sorrow, I praise Him all the more. But no matter "my lot Thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well, with my soul."
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Here
Even amidst great blessings, one cannot deny the searing pains of open wounds. But praise the LORD! For we do not have to endure them alone. He is the Great Physician, the all powerful Healer, the dearest comfort, surest hope, and most devoted Lover... God is with us, He is here.
This song is very special to me, thought I'd share<3
This song is very special to me, thought I'd share<3
Monday, February 20, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Enough
Sometimes it's not about wishing someone would notice the seen, but rather that someone would notice the unseen. It seems so pointless to hope there's another human who could be capable of such.
I believe this has been allowed so that I may recognize just how truly precious God is. That He seeks us out, calls and draws us to Himself, sets our feet upon the Rock, guides our journey, forgives and loves abundantly and sees the things no other can. For He went through it Himself. He understands because He's experienced it, He's lived it.
All I long for from another being cannot be found in simply one, nor a dozen...when I am disheartened that another does not treasure me, as I them, I shall not be dismayed. For it should not be our goal to be anothers most valued gem. Rather the mind's and heart's dwelling should focus upon qualities made possible, and brought about by God, knowing always that those are the things God's sees. If none other recognizes them, it does not matter. For all we think, say and do should be unto the Lord, anyways.
Praise God! For He is more than enough.
"..He will be with thee, He will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed."
Deuteronomy 31:8b
I believe this has been allowed so that I may recognize just how truly precious God is. That He seeks us out, calls and draws us to Himself, sets our feet upon the Rock, guides our journey, forgives and loves abundantly and sees the things no other can. For He went through it Himself. He understands because He's experienced it, He's lived it.
All I long for from another being cannot be found in simply one, nor a dozen...when I am disheartened that another does not treasure me, as I them, I shall not be dismayed. For it should not be our goal to be anothers most valued gem. Rather the mind's and heart's dwelling should focus upon qualities made possible, and brought about by God, knowing always that those are the things God's sees. If none other recognizes them, it does not matter. For all we think, say and do should be unto the Lord, anyways.
Praise God! For He is more than enough.
"..He will be with thee, He will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed."
Deuteronomy 31:8b
Friday, February 17, 2012
A Poem~ Speechless
The Lord, He whispers...
"Everything you needed and need
Everything you wanted and want
I am all these things.
Why do you search elsewhere for them, when I am right here?"
I am stuck dumb.
"Everything you needed and need
Everything you wanted and want
I am all these things.
Why do you search elsewhere for them, when I am right here?"
I am stuck dumb.
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